We are all weird about something – it’s part of being human!
We ALL have that friend (and can also be that friend) that constantly seeks advice and never takes it. We all know someone who does it, and we’re kinda guilty of it.
There’s also this phenomenon – we are AWESOME at giving advice that we should take, right?
I share this with you to be forthright, authentic, and to out myself. Like many professionals (especially teachers, authors and speakers), I suffer from a serious case of Impostor Syndrome. I create videos, I write, I teach and I speak about things that inspire and empower me with the intention that it will motivate people who are also struggling. I do this with the intention to “help” others, but my big WHY is to help myself. If I end up motivating others in the process, then that’s just a bonus. I say and write it because I need to hear and read it.
When this all started – this website, my business, book, podcast and speaking – I felt like I was ready to take on monumental success, and that failure was not an option. It turns out that the opposite happened – I definitely experienced failure (some folks remind me that it’s just a setback) and I certainly was NOT ready for success.
We are all a bit weird, man. We want stuff and things in our lives and we think we can handle huge achievements, but we forget that there’s a whole lotta work that goes into making these things happen. We fantasize about having the things, but rarely daydream about the hard work and struggle required to become the kind of people who will do amazing things.
We neglect to see that we have already done amazing things in our lives. We fixate on our flaws and shortcomings instead of reflecting back and appreciating all of our victories. We get caught up on the mistakes we’ve made instead of looking at the lessons we’ve learned from our mistakes. We worry about what may happen in the future instead of get super pumped about what is possible. We spend so much of our mental power on regret and living in the past! Imagine if we tried to walk or drive like that? We’d be in wrecks all the time!
The same goes for our lives.
We’re meant to drive forward in our lives by looking forward, not looking back. Our vision should be more like a windshield, not a rear-view mirror.
Here’s what’s super weird: LOGIC. Logic tells us that certain things aren’t possible for us, because we’ve had bad experiences. We’ve all made mistakes. Remember being a kid? We’d do some dumb ass shit because we just didn’t know any better. We had no fear. We didn’t have jobs and families and stuff to be responsible for, so we took risks and threw caution to the wind. We were free. Then sagacity and experience comes along and shows us that life hurts. It shows us that things are difficult. We learn that our bodies are frail, that people don’t always have the best intentions, that our hearts are susceptible to incredible pain.
But we forget that we heal. We neglect to see that our scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh. We pay no mind to the blessings that come from the lessons of failure because we focus so much on the pain.
Failing is a part of life. Pain is inevitable.
We’re only human.
Vulnerability sure is uncomfortable. Not many people would jump right into a situation knowing that it was going to be painful (those Jackass guys created a legacy by doing that…but they’re into that!). However – and this is the really weird part – pain forges resiliency, humility, gratitude, immense growth, and shifts our perspective.
Would any of us embark on a huge life transition if it weren’t for pain? Why else would we be inspired to change our lives? Why would we leave a job we LOVE? Isn’t it when we’re miserable at work that we want a job change? Why would we leave a relationship if we were happy (either with ourselves, our partner or the relationship as a whole)?
Pain an impetus for change. It is part of the growing process. And I’m not talking about just physical pain – I’m talking about the emotional and mental pain that comes with life’s challenges.
We’re weird because we thrive in challenges. We become grateful when things turn to shit and we need a quick attitude adjustment. We’re thankful for healthy bones after we’ve broken something (or a bunch of them). We don’t appreciate an amazing scoring pass when the opposing defense is weak – we appreciate it when there are SOLID blockers making our life hell!
We don’t appreciate our recovery as much if our addictions and bad habits didn’t get the better of us.
It’s not very often that we reflect on how good we have it when we’re having a great day. We barely even notice what a great day is because that’s “how it should be”. Or, we don’t appreciate how good we have it because we’re fixated on what we wish we had, comparing and judging ourselves and others.
People are weird.
And it’s okay to be weird. We think and often act on the Shitty First Draft, based on our ingrained logic and our experiences.
However, if we want to think, act, and feel differently, shouldn’t we start doing things differently?
I enjoy reading the feedback on these because it helps me continue to be of service to you. I appreciate both the good and the constructive feedback. Something I particularly enjoy is reading why people no longer want to get these messages through email. This is a subscription email. People have been getting them for a while now. These messages are based on requests. So folks are asking for tips and suggestions and…don’t want to read them (let alone implement them)?
One of my defects is glaring here – yes, I’m totally judging. But it also serves as a reminder to me to check up on myself and see where I do this in my own life…because I totally do it. A lot.
We all do.
So let’s do ourselves a favor and actually listen to and heed the advice of our well-intentioned friends, mentors, and loved ones, mmmmkay?
May our days be joyful, our pain be brief, and our hearts and minds always receptive to the love we need and deserve ♥