Hello sweetie darling!
Eddie and Pats are Absolutely Fabulous ♥
Sweets, sweets, sweets…can’t ever get enough of them! As we’ve covered in sugar post one, sugar post two and sugar post three, it’s because our bodies and brains are trying to manage how much sugar we need, and how much we want. UGH. So frustrating.
Life is an ongoing struggle between the desires of our hearts and egos. We know we’ll never get what we need by pursuing what we want, but dammit that ego is so damn compelling.
So again, here’s your free pass – you’re not responsible for your first thought. That first thought is the by-product of your conditioning. It’s your Shitty First Draft.
Brene Brown, heart-centered living author and warrior. Also, saucy Texan with a sweet accent!
Let’s elaborate a bit more on this. Actually, this Huffington Post article does a stellar job of articulating this point well. Utilizing the habit of working smarter and not harder, I’ll just quote the part that really hits home!
While the reckoning, the rumble, and the revolution are all critical to the rising strong process, Brené says it’s the rumble that is the messiest. It’s the space where “you’re too far in to turn around and not close enough to the end to see the light.” It’s the place of the greatest struggle, and, says Brené, it’s a nonnegotiable part of the process.
“The rumble begins with turning up our curiosity level and becoming aware of the story we’re telling ourselves about our hurt, anger, frustration, or pain.”
Brené calls the initial story we tell ourselves the “shitty first draft” or “SFD” (a phrase she borrows from writer Anne Lamott). Writing down the unedited, unfiltered, unpolished stories we are hearing in our heads about the situations that are causing us to feel fear, hurt, pain, anger, shame, etc., allows us to investigate the tough questions about what’s really happening, to evaluate what we’re thinking, and to ask whether our stories are true, or a way to disengage and self-protect.
No matter what external influence we’re putting into our bodies and our lives to escape from our pain – sex, drugs, alcohol, sugar, junk food, excessive exercise, relationships, gambling, shopping, shoes, Netflix, or whatever else we can come up with – we’re only seeking a temporary fix for a deeper issue.
We are not responsible for our SFD. However, we are the sum total of our reactions.
I first read that when I was going through my 200-hour yoga certification training, and it is from the book Journey Into Power by yoga master Baron Baptiste. Here’s a great bit from the book that I hope is helpful to you:
Built into our hardwiring as humans is the fight or flight response, which we needed way back in the caveman era to keep us safe. But we’ve evolved…there is a third option, which is to neither fight nor flee, and that is to just stay and breathe. If you start to see your emotional feathers getting ruffled, just step back from yourself, come back into your body, watch your breath, and feel the reactiveness dissipate. If reactions happen, come out of your head, and anchor into your body.
Well…looks like breathing is a fabulous option to help us clear our minds and react wisely. Neat, yeah?
Here are your action steps:
First and foremost, please forgive yourself for your SFD. It’s not your fault. However, if you keep rationalizing it, you’re giving it more power. The very thing that’s triggering, upsetting you and causing anger, escapism and crappy habits is something you’re allowing to control you. When you notice this and the feelings arise, this is an opportunity to go with option three – breathe, and feel the reactiveness dissipate.
Personally, I like to write down my shitty and negative thoughts, and also the things that are out of my control. I then put the notes in a jar. When that jar is full, I burn the notes. It’s super cathartic.
If you could take your fears, doubts, frustrations, haunting past experiences, anxiety and desires (the ones that come from the ego) and release them, what would you like them to be replaced with?
If you could just get out your SFD and then re-write the script, what would your story be?
I do actually have more sugar alternative resources locked and loaded for the next few emails, but I feel compelled to continue to address issues that folks have been noting in the responses to these emails. These emails serve as a resource to help provide a pain killer to the very things that people are sharing with me.
As always, keep me posted on your life, what’s going on, and if there’s anything I can do to help. Even if it’s just to listen to you, I’m here to serve ♥
On a final note, wish me luck tonight! I’m giving a Ted Talk-style presentation at Elevate Daytona and I am SUPER pumped! That also means I’m pretty friggin’ nervous, but I’ve been listening to a professional speakers’ podcast and the folks say that if we’re not nervous, then it’s not important.
I’ll be speaking about food and fixations, and that’s super duper important!
With love, light, and sending you peace,