Whenever we go through a difficult time, sometimes it can be super challenging to reach out to people. It’s hard being vulnerable with people; vulnerability tends to suck.
However, vulnerability is also something that brings us together. It gets us out of those “Facebook perfect” moments (sharing only the “good” things on social media and masking our personal struggles) and empowers us to tap into deeper, significant, very important feelings.
Once we face those feelings, we can address them and then ultimately do something about them. But first, we must acknowledge them.
We isolate because it’s so easy to think, “oh, I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.” Don’t our friends want to truly know how we’re feeling? Isn’t this world and our survival predicated on collaboration and empathy? We are in this life together, yeah?
We are surrounded by people all the time. Sure, a densely populated city or a social gathering can often be a lonely place, so it’s important to find our tribe.
We’re meant to thrive together in this life.
We’re never alone. Never EVER.
Even a dude named Solo had a partner in crime.
For life ♥
We are meant to experience our adventures as well as our mishaps with our tribe. They lift us up when it feels like we’re battling every dark demon in this world. They make us stronger, braver, and battle-ready.
When we isolate, we lose the benefits reaped from teamwork. We’re SO much stronger when we have our posse, our team, our warriors alongside us.
However, there are things that we do that can sometimes scare people off. Self-deprecation, over sharing, whining and complaining to excess is very, VERY off-putting, and often is a defensive mechanism. Some folks do it to “test” their friends’ loyalty, but what’s really going on is they are pushing them away.
During a recent conversation, a woman exasperated, “people SUCK!” While I agree that some folks do really shitty things, I also know there is a world full of well-intended, uplifting and inspiring people. I know this because this is my personal experience, I too was overly cynical, jaded and off-putting, beating folks to the punch and pushing them away before they could reject me.
It is important and immensely beneficial to know who to go to for what kind of help. A mechanic won’t fix someone’s broken leg, and a doctor may not be able to fix someone’s bad haircut. With our friends, let’s remember that everyone has virtues and flaws, and we can’t rely on everyone for everything (or one person for everything).
Tai Lopez breaks it down in his TedX talk; a particularly interesting note is the Law of 33%. Tai posits (around 10:06 into the talk) that we should spend 33% of our time with people who we can help (I think of it as being in service), 33% of our time with people who are on our level (many of us, this is our network, friends and co-workers), and 33% of our time with people that will school the shit out of us (mentors and role models/heroes). Note that he also discusses books, and the timeless authors can act as the upper 33% for us.
This is a little check-in to serve as a reminder that we are never alone. We are meant to thrive in this life, and it happens when we join forces with empowering people that we can help, and can help us.
Just like awareness and acknowledgement lead to personal action, the same holds true for connecting with folks to move past our personal challenges. Once we let people know what’s going on, we can get help to get through it.
If you still think it’s an inconvenience to ask people for help, I recommend learning more about the Benjamin Franklin Effect. It’s a game-changer 😉
Sharing is caring, my friend. Keep sharing. When we do, we find that people actually give a fuck about us and want to see us flourish ♥